What to Do if Your Child is Suddenly Less Motivated

February is a strange time in the admissions cycle. Applications are submitted and the adrenaline is gone. Decisions haven’t arrived and the sky is grey. Many students, even high-achieving, conscientious ones, can sometimes hit a wall. 

Parents often describe it this way: 

“She just doesn’t seem to care the way she usually does.”

“He’s getting work done, but there’s no energy behind it.”

“It feels like the air went out of the balloon.”

Is my child backsliding acedemically?

This isn’t laziness or backsliding. February represents a real time developmentally for middle school students who have submitted applications. Post-Application fatigue is real. For months your child has been managing deadlines, writing and rewriting, thinking about how they are perceived, fielding adult questions, comparing themselves to peers, and feeling nervous about their next step. This sustained self-evaluation is exhausting and an emotional crash after applications are submitted is normal. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about school anymore, just that the pressure valve has shifted. 

February often is a time that students experience fatigue. Instead of pushing for peak performance and output, get curious about what’s going on with your child. Ask them what would make the next few weeks feel more manageable. Most middle school students have an idea of how to help themselves, they just need help with execution. Ask them what feels hardest right now, and what they need more or less of from you. Support them with getting more sleep and having more unstructured downtime. This might seem counterintuitive but having time to recharge their batteries can actually help students regain focus. 

If your child is displaying other behaviors such as avoiding social activities, a loss of interest in hobbies they once enjoyed, and heightened emotions, you might want to seek out help from a professional as this is likely something more than just February burnout. 

In general however, February is not a month to ramp the pressure up. It’s a month to help your child stabilize, to listen to them, and to provide them with a soft place to land at home.