How to Encourage a Growth Mindset in your Child
If you've ever read the narrative section of your child's report card or attended a parent-teacher conference, you've likely come across words like resilience, perseverance, intrinsic motivation, flexibility, or growth mindset. Schools are placing increasing emphasis on these so-called “soft skills,” and for good reason. These traits are not just buzzwords; they’re essential building blocks of your child’s success in academics, peer relationships, and overall development. While they may sound abstract, there are practical strategies to help your child develop these key mindsets. Here are our top tips…
Model failing …and still staying in the game
One of the most powerful ways to nurture a growth mindset is to show your child what it looks like in action. That means modeling what it’s like to try something new, feel uncertain, stumble, and keep going. Join them in an activity they love or try something new together. Maybe it’s playing a video game where you’re clearly the beginner, testing a tricky new recipe, or tackling a puzzle that leaves you both stumped. Label your emotions to show your child that feeling challenged or discouraged is normal, and that those feelings don’t mean it’s time to give up. Say things like, “Wow, this is harder than I expected,” or “I’m feeling frustrated, but I want to figure this out!” By modeling persistence, self-awareness, and a willingness to learn, you’re giving your child a real-time example of what a growth mindset looks like.
Be mindful of labels
It’s natural for adults to describe children in terms of their strengths: “She’s a math kid,” “He’s more of a reader,” “They’re the artistic one in the family.” And while every child does have unique preferences and abilities, these kinds of labels, however well-meaning, can unintentionally send the message that traits are fixed and unchangeable. It’s okay to acknowledge what your child enjoys or where they currently excel, but be cautious about emphasizing certain strengths so much that they begin to define your child’s identity. When kids internalize these labels, they may use them to excuse challenges or opt out of growth. A child who says, “It’s okay, I’m just not a math person,” may be shielding themselves from frustration, but they’re also reinforcing a fixed mindset. Interests and skills evolve, and how we talk about them helps shape what kids believe is possible.
Recognize growth where it already exists
Whether it’s getting lost in a book, mastering a new piece on their instrument, or working to beat a tricky level in a video game, kids naturally engage in productive struggle when they care about the outcome. As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is notice this effort, and name it. Say things like, “I saw how you kept trying different strategies until that part worked,” or “You kept at it, even when it was frustrating—look how far you’ve come.” When you highlight perseverance in action, you help your child build an identity as someone who works hard, takes on challenges, and grows through effort. Once they recognize this quality in themselves, it becomes easier to transfer that mindset to less familiar or more difficult areas.
Celebrate the soft skills!
It’s easy to recognize and celebrate the technical, measurable skills—what we often call “hard skills.” In sports, for example, the player who scores the most goals or racks up impressive stats naturally gets the spotlight. Children who excel in these areas often receive consistent praise, both from adults and peers. But what about the child who cheers for their teammates, encourages others after a tough play, or thanks the referee at the end of the game? These are examples of those soft skills—empathy, sportsmanship, resilience—in action. The goal of extracurriculars isn’t to raise professional athletes or performers, so let’s bring those soft skills to the forefront. Take time to notice and praise your child for the way they contribute to the group, handle setbacks, show leadership, or support others. When these qualities are acknowledged, children begin to value them too and they carry that mindset into other areas of life.
Encourage them to ask for help
One of the most rewarding moments for a teacher is when a student comes in, points to a tricky homework problem, and says, “I need help.” Contrary to the old stereotype, teachers—and most adults in a child’s life—genuinely want to support them. At home, normalize and encourage help-seeking behavior. If your child is struggling, whether it’s with schoolwork, a friendship, or an emotional challenge, guide them to identify trusted adults or peers they can turn to. Remind them that asking for help is not giving up; it’s a proactive step toward understanding, resolution, or growth. Learning to advocate for themselves and use available support systems is a life skill that will serve them well far beyond childhood.
Fostering a growth mindset is about making small, intentional shifts in language and creating a home environment where effort is valued, mistakes are part of the process, and learning is seen as a lifelong journey. Taking advantage of everyday moments—naming your own frustration, celebrating quiet persistence, pointing out progress—are what shape how your child sees themselves as a learner. And over time, they begin to internalize the belief that they can grow, improve, and rise to challenges.
Still have questions? Want to know how to better support your child with roadblocks? BetterEd is here to help. You know your child, we know education. Sign up for a consultation below or contact us for more information.